But many have been wearing masks for some time

Cue Summer Breeze… The Isley Bros. version… 

Summer breeze makes me feel fine… Blowing through the Jasmine in my mind

In a time when it’s said that work/life balance is no longer exists and has shifted to work/life integration; the concept of a “one life” makes wearing masks increasingly more difficult. I’m not talking about masking up for COVID 19, but more so the masks many have worn daily since the beginning of time pretending all is well in an effort to be a “motivational fit” and navigate the company culture in the midst of continuous trauma where your skin color is the weapon coupled with the exhaustion that comes from how just by entering a room your presence makes people uncomfortable.

2020 can kick rocks and we’re just at the halfway mark. Learning to work remotely while crisis schooling is a lot, but when you layer knowing nearly 30 people of whom have had a positive COVID 19 diagnosis of which 12 are dead makes these past 8 weeks feel like an eternity. Then when you add the trauma that comes with the fear of going for a jog, another unarmed Black person being viewed as a bigger threat than the armed protesters on the steps of capitol buildings inconvenienced that they haven’t been able to get a haircut, to the chilling familiarity of Amy Cooper that even your advanced degrees mean nothing when all that’s seen first is the color of your skin.

This past week was hard. Having to “mask up” in between conference calls putting on the face listening to how people have been getting back to normal traveling to places that are “open” and exchanging pancake recipes while my 13 year old in between virtual classes is asking (again) how to navigate in a world where his skin is viewed as the weapon with only moments to adjust my “mask” to log on to the next call having to perform. Please don’t get me wrong I wholeheartedly believe everyone has every right to exercise their individual rights, but I yearn for the day that Liberty & Justice for all rings true for everyone where any inequity is nonexistent.

There’s a lot of Amy Coopers in these Corporate Offices making hiring decisions, making annual review commentary, deciding on performance ratings, and offering names of who to promote or not. The dire gap of wealth and health outcomes between white people and people of color perpetuates one’s ability to dream. From the numbers of those I know personally directly impacted by COVID to the digital divide where many children in inner cities across America have received zero instruction in two months displays a tale of two quarantines of where I’ve found myself teetering between both worlds. All I/we want is an even playing field where the starting line is the same, but where do I see representation up the ranks beyond just the 1-2 that look like me? I want to mean it when I tell my son that he can be whatever he wants to be. I want the ability to dream again, but these nightmares I’m experiencing while wide awake makes it difficult.

To be Black in America is EXHAUSTING! While sheltering in place has shielded me from COVID-19 thus far (I’m counting my blessings on that) the mask I’m struggling with isn’t for that. So those few occurrences when I may have my camera off know it’s because my “mask” is soaking wet from the tears I can no longer fight back and I’m counting my being able to function and get through the meeting with you as the win…

FUN FACT: Summer is my favorite season, and I never thought I’d get so good at making Lemonade! Enjoy the glass you’ve made. Cheers to the #SummerBreeze!

Written by Jasmine Johnson

Original post can be view here.