A couple of years back I wrote a piece titled, Are You in a Holding Pattern?
If so, it was time for a landing… Far too much time has been spent on Holding Patterns. You’ve taken off countless times with no landing. Feeling that the conditions are unfavorable to land. Waiting for the perfect timing, waiting, and delaying, trying to allow others to secure their landing first. Concerned about everyone else, will they be ok or feel abandoned if I went ahead of them? Wondering if you have enough support to act now. Although, the Control Tower, the one that controls all, had given the clearance to land. The Lord has assured you that the conditions are optimal, and you have been cleared for a safe landing.
Now that the landing has taken place, you are no longer in a Holding Pattern, it’s important to manually navigate your journey of (re)discovery by being present, connected, and true to the Gift Called “You”. If you don’t you will find yourself living your life on Autopilot.
Maybe you are already there. Are you doing the same routine day after day, never remembering what you did the day before? Or even wondering what day it is? Do you have anything to look forward to? If you’re just focused on just getting through the day-to-day you have forgotten about your “Why”. The reason why you’re doing what you do, you are probably living your life and the relationships in it on autopilot.
The devastating part about living life on autopilot, especially when it comes to your relationships, is that you don’t even know that you’re doing it half the time. You’re just living your life, going through the motions wishing for more, but not sure, if there is more or how to get it. While many people live their entire lives on autopilot (which is truly sad), the way to have truly rewarding and successful lives & relationships is to be fully aware and adaptable when it comes to life. So, how do you do that?
1. Stop and smell the roses (literally): Take time to notice all the little things around you that you always used to look at when you were 6 years old!!!
· Pause and Reflect
· Take more Pictures
· Connect with Others and Nature
2. Think about your short and long-term goals. Do you still have those? And if so – have you forgotten them? Or are your goals different, from what you thought would please others? Re-write that list and start working on accomplishing your true short-term goals.
· (re)Set a goal or two
· Write down the steps needed to achieve them
· Track each step
3. Remember your relationship(s)? When was the last time you did something new with him/her? When was the last time you even wanted to? Start thinking about your relationships and stop just “being in it”.
· Do Something Different
· Practice being Present (Mindfulness)
· Cut down on social media and electronics
Finally, if you are on autopilot there’s a reason why. Your life is out of sync. It’s either too stressful, too complicated, too boring, or you have surrendered your life to the routine. I’m asking you to take one day this week and really think about your life and relationships. How can you shake things up? Make them interesting? How can you get back in sync and in love with your life again?
I appreciate the fact that God continued to replenish and refuel us during those times. He instructed us to land but we continued to hover, remaining suspended in one place in the air. Don’t you think we have hindered and blocked ourselves for much too long to end up on autopilot?
The journey you’re currently on and the place you’re in, what is your spirit speaking to you? God has prepared you for something Great. Let’s embrace the fact, we do not have to see it all, that would not be Faith. We do not have to know all the answers, He is the ultimate Tour Guide for the journey of (re)discovering the Gift Called You”.
So, what has God told you to do that you haven’t started doing yet? What are you waiting for? God has your best interests at heart. Go ahead and do what he’s told you to do. He’s making it Christal Clear.
Prayer: Father God thank you for your strong presence of timing. I feel the soft breeze as you continue to blow all internal and external hindrances and obstacles away. Lord, I invite you each day to a renewed cleansing of my fears, insecurities, discouragements, and heaviness that makes me want to quit and disconnect to be demolished. Amen!
You closed your eyes for a brief period, counting to 100 (1, 2, 3. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10). Ready or not, here I come!!! Now your eyes open, oh snap where am I? Who the heck am I? It has been 10 years and I cannot find or recognize myself, have I blended in, or have I vanished entirely? On the surface, it seems odd that you could actually be anything other than who you are. But from the time we can talk, we are being programmed to “fit in.” We find ourselves conforming to please the people we love, and who love us.
But sometimes that means that you must suppress what you know is the real person inside. Over time this leads to a total disconnect and often you become unrecognizable to yourself.
And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have. Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy and authentic relationships with anyone else.
If you’re ready to be found and get reacquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – The ” Gift” Called You (yourself) – start with these 4 ideas to help you rediscover the real you.
1.Quiet the noise in your head
You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you I’m not doing enough, I don’t have enough time to get it all done, to put up the laundry, spend more time with aging parents, what will we have for dinner, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the vet, keep the boss happy. With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything above the din. This MUST be the first step. How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lacking.
2.Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways
To do that, you must first believe that you are valuable and that your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined, that is a lot of talking!!! It is up to YOU to establish healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say, challenge them, and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.” Challenge: “Of course, I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I will learn from it and have better success next time.”
3.Listen to your heart
Sounds easy enough, but by the time we are adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads. Those two must reconnect to find your real self. It is easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of feeling them. Did you catch that? You must not only think but feel as well!!! Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask how you feel about it and why it is important to you.
4.Be careful not to get hung up on a specific goal
What you are really after is a feeling — respect, love, appreciation – as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and you will rediscover your real self, which will come shining through.
A person you can know and love – The Gift Called You!!! – is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you will make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are. Now, that is what you are really looking for, isn’t it?
Prayer:
Dear Lord, I’m lost like I can’t find myself anymore. As I embark on this journey of rediscovering the Gift Called “Me” please order my steps. Help me to have the confidence to seek out my real self, that’s in hiding, and the gifts I possess. Rescue me and allow healing and growth to take place where it’s needed. Amen!
As we continue to journey into the year of 2021, it was pressed upon my heart that this should be the year that all of mine and your visions shall come to pass. In 2020 we had a time of rest, a time to reflect upon our visions. That is why I created the 2021 Visioning Worksheet, this was meant to help you manifest your goals in 2021. There are four sections contained within this worksheet and I will be giving you all a quick tour of how to use the worksheet to the best of its ability.
Let’s Start!
Self-Reflection
In the first part of the worksheet, I ask that you reflect upon 2020. This is your opportunity to just freewrite and allow for the thoughts that you may have had stored up through last year spill out on the page. Now is your time to release those visions, thoughts, questions and manifestations. Additionally, you are able to write down simply what you are looking to manifest in 2021, this could be a simple word, mission or an action.
2021 Manifestation Goal Setting
I am a big believer in setting SMART goals. I live by them actually, it really helps me to keep myself accountable by setting specific, measurable, achievable and time-specific goals. This second part of the worksheet is where you will keep yourself accountable. Be sure to refer to this section of the worksheet daily, weekly or monthly. Assess the 3 goals, let them be reminders that your goals are attainable and achievable this year because you planned well.
2021 Visioning Workbook – Manifest Your Goals
Enjoy this free download of the 2021 Visioning Worksheet. This 5-page booklet includes 3 worksheets that will help you to plan out your goals for 2021. Allow this to be the guide for the new year. After downloading you can print the pages and add them to your existing collection of The Gift of Called “Me”- 90 Day Planners. Or just use the worksheet on it’s own.
This is probably one of the hardest, but most freeing portions of the worksheet. I know that as I was working through this worksheet, I felt freed by confronting my negative and limiting thoughts. Truly, it is not our lack of motivation that gets in our way, it is the struggle to keep away those negative thoughts. I implore you pray and meditate on those challenges, negative or self-limiting thoughts that you may struggle with. RELEASE THEM! Those thoughts no longer have a place in your mind, heart or hands and to keep them from creeping back set 30, 60 and 90 day goals to rid yourself of them!
4.Vision Board
I love this part of the worksheet. Allow your creativity to shine. Use this space to place quotes or pictures that help you to visualize your goals. I am a firm believer that you can accomplish what you can’t envision.
“Write the vision, make it plain on the tablets, so he may run who reads it” – Habakkuk 2:2
Summer breeze makes me feel fine… Blowing through the Jasmine in my mind
In a time when it’s said that work/life balance is no longer exists and has shifted to work/life integration; the concept of a “one life” makes wearing masks increasingly more difficult. I’m not talking about masking up for COVID 19, but more so the masks many have worn daily since the beginning of time pretending all is well in an effort to be a “motivational fit” and navigate the company culture in the midst of continuous trauma where your skin color is the weapon coupled with the exhaustion that comes from how just by entering a room your presence makes people uncomfortable.
2020 can kick rocks and we’re just at the halfway mark. Learning to work remotely while crisis schooling is a lot, but when you layer knowing nearly 30 people of whom have had a positive COVID 19 diagnosis of which 12 are dead makes these past 8 weeks feel like an eternity. Then when you add the trauma that comes with the fear of going for a jog, another unarmed Black person being viewed as a bigger threat than the armed protesters on the steps of capitol buildings inconvenienced that they haven’t been able to get a haircut, to the chilling familiarity of Amy Cooper that even your advanced degrees mean nothing when all that’s seen first is the color of your skin.
This past week was hard. Having to “mask up” in between conference calls putting on the face listening to how people have been getting back to normal traveling to places that are “open” and exchanging pancake recipes while my 13 year old in between virtual classes is asking (again) how to navigate in a world where his skin is viewed as the weapon with only moments to adjust my “mask” to log on to the next call having to perform. Please don’t get me wrong I wholeheartedly believe everyone has every right to exercise their individual rights, but I yearn for the day that Liberty & Justice for all rings true for everyone where any inequity is nonexistent.
There’s a lot of Amy Coopers in these Corporate Offices making hiring decisions, making annual review commentary, deciding on performance ratings, and offering names of who to promote or not. The dire gap of wealth and health outcomes between white people and people of color perpetuates one’s ability to dream. From the numbers of those I know personally directly impacted by COVID to the digital divide where many children in inner cities across America have received zero instruction in two months displays a tale of two quarantines of where I’ve found myself teetering between both worlds. All I/we want is an even playing field where the starting line is the same, but where do I see representation up the ranks beyond just the 1-2 that look like me? I want to mean it when I tell my son that he can be whatever he wants to be. I want the ability to dream again, but these nightmares I’m experiencing while wide awake makes it difficult.
To be Black in America is EXHAUSTING! While sheltering in place has shielded me from COVID-19 thus far (I’m counting my blessings on that) the mask I’m struggling with isn’t for that. So those few occurrences when I may have my camera off know it’s because my “mask” is soaking wet from the tears I can no longer fight back and I’m counting my being able to function and get through the meeting with you as the win…
FUN FACT: Summer is my favorite season, and I never thought I’d get so good at making Lemonade! Enjoy the glass you’ve made. Cheers to the #SummerBreeze!
Originally published on March 25, 2020 on LinkedIn
Cue Summer Breeze… The Isley Bros. version…
Summer breeze makes me feel fine… Blowing through the Jasmine in my mind
While we find ourselves in the midst of much ambiguity I choose to find the rainbow and am very much appreciating the gift of recalibration that has been given. On a Target run on Sunday my sister made the comment of how eerie it felt with the streets being dead. I quickly replied that this is actually how Sundays used (were meant) to be back in the day where businesses were closed, and people were with family for dinner after Church service. While I am not accustomed to being held hostage within the confines of stay-at-home orders I do trust the science, and yet agree that too much of anything is still too much.
So, when orders are lifted, and things can go back to what was once defined as “normal” I am hoping each of us is able to hold on to a little bit of the slow down and let the “rat race” never return! I watched a movie with my Mom and Dad last week, and I can’t tell you the last time my grown tail watched a movie with my parents. I have taken for granted the blessings of my “own space” navigating working remotely, virtual classrooms for my son, and my Grandparents’ TV programming as we’ve been squatting with them during the 9+ month renovation of a historic home. While there’s nothing like a good old fashioned gunfight showdown in the middle of a conference call I freaked out about them being part of the most vulnerable yet blessed to have this time with them. My son with his great-grandparents. I choose to find the rainbow.
All of us have been inconvenienced, but some are fighting for their life or have lost theirs (or a loved one). Some are watching their retirement plans dwindle, but many have lived in generational poverty where economic instability has BEEN a way of life. While some are hoarding toilet paper many have BEEN wondering where the next meal for their child(ren) would come from long before COVID 19. May this experience bring us back to humility and reintroduce us to empathy. Oh, but by Grace there go I. I choose to find the rainbow.
What’s on your list of what you’ve been meaning to get around to? Writing my first #SummerBreeze article for LinkedIn was mine. In the midst of the madness, I choose to find the rainbow. What is your rainbow? I accept this recalibration and I am appreciating the slowdown! I am hoping we can carry some of this forward, (re)create some barriers to protect our space of the work/life integration, and not let the “Rat Race” NEVER return!
~Jasmine M. Johnson
FUN FACT: Summer is my favorite season, and I never thought I’d get so good of making Lemonade! Enjoy the glass you’ve made. Cheers to the #SummerBreeze!
So many types of Love to choose from, where do we start?
We sometimes feel empty and unfulfilled, but there is a splendor and fullness when we open ourselves up to experience multiple types of love. Perhaps we feel unsatisfied with our love life because we’re putting so much into our romantic relationships that we’ve neglected ourselves, family, friendships and God. Could it be we are looking for Love in all the wrong places? I believe we must start within to look for love. Love is beyond the outward and what you can see physically. How can you receive from someone else what you don’t understand, respect, value and know how to care for?
Hey “Me”
If you have not experienced self-love, this is a good time to step back and find you and love yourself. If you don’t really know and understand what it is to love yourself, you will never truly appreciate the Gift Called “Me”. It takes spending intimate time with self, praying, and reaching deep down within to discover what is needed, to love and fully understand how to be loved. Loving yourself requires loving without condition, expecting the best, making the necessary sacrifices, not keeping score of all your shortcomings, mistakes and failed attempts of hopes and dreams. You keep going, dust yourself off, forgive, seek and embrace the lesson. You trust that our Creator did not make a mistake when you were created.
Hey “Friend”
Now that I have experienced self-love it has helped me eliminate conflicts, created room for me to see others without being judgmental and/or controlling. Understand, my friend how much you mean to me. You have made an impact on my life and I will never forget you. I’m willing to sacrifice and take the efforts that are required to help and be accountable to you. To stop loving you would require me to stop loving part of myself. Through the time, distance, circumstances, and busyness of life be confident that the memories are as strong as yesterday. You are in my thoughts and heart. Your presence in my life has had such an incredible influence, that because of you, I’m “Me”.
Hey “Sweetheart”
When I married you over 36 years ago, I couldn’t imagine the possibilities of sharing and enjoying multiple types of Love with you. From the Lust yep I’m still infatuated, the Friendship, the Passion is “Real” as is my Commitment. I love how over time we have learned how to be patient, endure, embrace each other’s flaws, see and bring the best out of each other. We have experienced many Seasons of Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter on this journey together. I’ve learned to let go of the fantasies to make room for creating our realities filled with wonder and joy. Thank God we learned if it doesn’t fit don’t force it… It’s not my call to change or recreate you. I will continue to answer the call to love, support, embrace and encourage you to continue to grow into the best “You”. As the years continue, day by day, I will strive to love you in many ways. By Grace may you always be able to experience these three Eros, Philia and Agape Love through me.
Hey “God”
Lord you are the only Love I want to change for. Here I am, shape and mold me into a beautiful form of Art. You know “Me” better than I know myself, every detail. I love you because not only did you love me first, but you know how to love me completely without trial and error. Your love has always been unfailing. I love, adore and reverence you. Every day you show me, agape love, in so many ways. You are so good to me. Thank you for your unwavering and everlasting love. You are the 1st I want to say good morning and the last to say goodnight to. Thank you for Jeremiah 29:11. Your Love is Alpha and Omega, that endless that gives me a daily dose of unspeakable Joy.
I ended with the beginning in mind. Without the understanding of God’s Love and the marvelous creation of you, you will not have the foundation to build a healthy relationship with yourself. You need God for the understanding and capacity to love yourself which equips you with the ability to build, restore and maintain healthy relationships with others. We all give and receive love differently. What types of love have you experienced and what types are you looking forward to adding and giving. It’s pretty powerful to have the capacity to operate in the overflow and give love and expect nothing in return, don’t you think?
