I’m sure that like most folks, that just before midnight on December 31, 2019. All that I could anticipate was that 2020 would be nothing other than a year of wonder and excitement as we entered into a new decade. However, 2020 had some tricks up its sleeve that none of us were expecting. Yes, we entered into a global pandemic, a political melee, social disturbance and those were just the things that were happening outside of my doorsteps. Within my home I became a full-time elementary teacher and this change really grounded me and ultimately it was for the better.
In 2020, I launched my series of 90-day planners, The Gift Called “Me” and this was the start of making my business Christal Clear Vision a full reality, this has been something that I have dreamt about for years. As much as I was thinking that I would “work” the business, the business actually turned out to be working on “ME”. I started this business to be a source of strength and encouragement for women over 40 who have various tasks of being a mom, a wife, a sister, an aunt or care-taker of aging parents. All of these things add enuremable stress to our life on top of trying to feign out successful careers and finding time for self-care.
However, 2020 allowed me the needed rest, to really focus on my visions for my business, for myself and for my family. I think that is the greatest gift of all in 2020 was rest. Our world was forced to slow down and I think we all really needed that to better understand ourselves, our neighbors and our purposes.
Not only were many given the gift of rest from the world’s hustle and bustle it also reignited the importance of relationships. Relationships are quintessential. Relationship is what God wants from us.
In these unprecedented times, COVID-19 has provided the opportunity for all of us to reevaluate how we live. In doing so, families have had to make important decisions to adjust, manage, and restructure both their family lives as well as their work environments. Many parents find that they also need to be a virtual learning support coach in order to help their children stay engaged while learning from home. So, how exactly do parents balance work and virtual learning?
Childcare can be a very costly, stressful, and frankly scary thing to navigate when parents have to work during a pandemic. A few ideas to consider
Small groups of parents and/or families could create community learning circles (using safe distancing guidelines), to help share the burden of childcare.
Parent(s) could check into the Family Leave options at their job, and if doable arrange to take some time off to care for the kids.
A last resort would be for a parent to extend their leave or quit their job altogether. Only if you can afford to do so.
Here are a few Dos and Don’ts for parents to help ensure your child’s virtual learning success:
DO
Establish a daily routine: Eat Healthily, Drink Plenty of Water, Exercise, and Get 7-8 Hours of
Restorative Sleep.
Provide a quiet learning space in the house with limited distractions and background noises.
Ensure your student is on time to virtual school!
Make sure that your child dresses appropriately for virtual school.
Communicate with the teacher(s) in advance to get the details of the information and resources
your child will need for each class, including homework.
Be sure to review the virtual learning etiquette guidelines, provided by the school, with your
child(ren).
Express high expectations and standards for your child’s learning.
Encourage your student to participate in extra-curricular activities, if available.
DON’T
Don’t interrupt the virtual learning sessions. If you have questions or concerns, please reach out to the teacher via email. (Remember: This is a special time for students to meet with their teachers and classmates, so it is vital that the adults at home be quiet observers.)
We know that this pandemic won’t last forever. In the meantime, parents are challenged with the task to be a virtual learning coach while their kids learn from home. But, with help from school districts, the community, and employers, parents will be able to balance work and virtual learning.
Over the years I often dreaded this past weekend Daylight Saving Time, equating it with losing my valued one hour of sleep. Seriously though, let’s put this into perspective, what about the countless hours I’ve lost to Social Media, Daydreaming, Hallmark and all my Get a Round Tuit (tasks, plans, and goals).
Despite all that’s happening globally as I continue to pray, I yet feel the energy of a new awakening. The quote by Rumi truly spoke to me this week, “the soul has been given its own ears to hear things the mind does not understand.” My declaration for us this season as we continue our 2020 Christal Clear Journey is as the clocks sprung forward, is that we embrace a different/new/fresh outlook in regards to every thought, need, plan, goal, and desire that’s springing forward as our spirit awakens more in 2020 each day. Each time you check the time don’t get caught up in what you see outwardly, stop and take note of what the soul is speaking inwardly to you. It’s a new breath and rhythm so different than anything you ever experienced in the past. This is an amazing season, don’t sleep on all the wonderful things springing forth in your life. Experience the burst of energy, clarity and the ability to CClear, beyond the natural eye.
Arise my Sisters and shake it off, your season of spiritual hibernation has ended. It appears as if the soul has been in a state of “Winter”, oh but I sense God affectionately calling us to “Spring” Forward. Therefore, we emerge together out of sleep from this deep cold place, moving forward into our Greatness.
We didn’t lose an hour; we’ve gained more Sunshine. Can’t you feel God’s warm gentle touch as he warms your mind, heart, body, soul, and spirit inviting you to all the countless opportunities he has in store for you? No more hiding, playing possum or being hijacked by the enemy. We boldly state to the adversary and foes, get ye behind us as we step forward into our New Season.
So many types of Love to choose from, where do we start?
We sometimes feel empty and unfulfilled, but there is a splendor and fullness when we open ourselves up to experience multiple types of love. Perhaps we feel unsatisfied with our love life because we’re putting so much into our romantic relationships that we’ve neglected ourselves, family, friendships and God. Could it be we are looking for Love in all the wrong places? I believe we must start within to look for love. Love is beyond the outward and what you can see physically. How can you receive from someone else what you don’t understand, respect, value and know how to care for?
Hey “Me”
If you have not experienced self-love, this is a good time to step back and find you and love yourself. If you don’t really know and understand what it is to love yourself, you will never truly appreciate the Gift Called “Me”. It takes spending intimate time with self, praying, and reaching deep down within to discover what is needed, to love and fully understand how to be loved. Loving yourself requires loving without condition, expecting the best, making the necessary sacrifices, not keeping score of all your shortcomings, mistakes and failed attempts of hopes and dreams. You keep going, dust yourself off, forgive, seek and embrace the lesson. You trust that our Creator did not make a mistake when you were created.
Hey “Friend”
Now that I have experienced self-love it has helped me eliminate conflicts, created room for me to see others without being judgmental and/or controlling. Understand, my friend how much you mean to me. You have made an impact on my life and I will never forget you. I’m willing to sacrifice and take the efforts that are required to help and be accountable to you. To stop loving you would require me to stop loving part of myself. Through the time, distance, circumstances, and busyness of life be confident that the memories are as strong as yesterday. You are in my thoughts and heart. Your presence in my life has had such an incredible influence, that because of you, I’m “Me”.
Hey “Sweetheart”
When I married you over 36 years ago, I couldn’t imagine the possibilities of sharing and enjoying multiple types of Love with you. From the Lust yep I’m still infatuated, the Friendship, the Passion is “Real” as is my Commitment. I love how over time we have learned how to be patient, endure, embrace each other’s flaws, see and bring the best out of each other. We have experienced many Seasons of Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter on this journey together. I’ve learned to let go of the fantasies to make room for creating our realities filled with wonder and joy. Thank God we learned if it doesn’t fit don’t force it… It’s not my call to change or recreate you. I will continue to answer the call to love, support, embrace and encourage you to continue to grow into the best “You”. As the years continue, day by day, I will strive to love you in many ways. By Grace may you always be able to experience these three Eros, Philia and Agape Love through me.
Hey “God”
Lord you are the only Love I want to change for. Here I am, shape and mold me into a beautiful form of Art. You know “Me” better than I know myself, every detail. I love you because not only did you love me first, but you know how to love me completely without trial and error. Your love has always been unfailing. I love, adore and reverence you. Every day you show me, agape love, in so many ways. You are so good to me. Thank you for your unwavering and everlasting love. You are the 1st I want to say good morning and the last to say goodnight to. Thank you for Jeremiah 29:11. Your Love is Alpha and Omega, that endless that gives me a daily dose of unspeakable Joy.
I ended with the beginning in mind. Without the understanding of God’s Love and the marvelous creation of you, you will not have the foundation to build a healthy relationship with yourself. You need God for the understanding and capacity to love yourself which equips you with the ability to build, restore and maintain healthy relationships with others. We all give and receive love differently. What types of love have you experienced and what types are you looking forward to adding and giving. It’s pretty powerful to have the capacity to operate in the overflow and give love and expect nothing in return, don’t you think?
It would always warm my heart to hear my Mom respond to the little ones in the family as they started to coo, in their attempt to have a conversation. My Mom would laugh and affectionately say “What are you trying to say to me? I don’t speak Japtalian.” It would be so funny to watch them interact. Think about it, the more you talk and respond to the little ones the more they babble. They either become extremely joyful or extremely frustrated if their needs are not being met.
Actually, you can witness them within seconds going from one extreme to the other. Isn’t this true with any relationship if the communicator doesn’t feel understood? As a parent or caregiver, you begin to understand more and more after each exchange of what they are attempting to communicate.
My experience is you can love someone really, really, really hard and it can go unnoticed, creating feelings of rejection, unwanted and unappreciated. The truth is that you are not speaking their language. If your language is English or Spanish and someone talks to you in Portuguese, how would that work for you?
I’m married to my 1st grade friend and for many years we found ourselves not fully understanding and communicating with each other. I couldn’t understand the tension and why I didn’t feel the romance in our marriage. Why did he not get me or understand my wants and desires? Was the Honeymoon just a passing memory? Honestly, I really thought will I ever experience the Honeymoon I dreamed about? He would often say to me in a tone “Just give me the Script”.
I was frustrated, taking super long baths asking Calgon to take me away. Wondering what’s wrong with me, fantasizing about walks in the Park. I’m pretty sure Hallmark today was created and written from my long Calgon Baths. He was in the next room confused wondering how much more can he do for me. It’s never enough as I continued to be unsatisfied and perhaps unappreciative. Thinking what’s wrong with her, can’t she see I’m trying to get this house painted and she expects me to blow off the day by walking in a Park? He’s a Godly Man breaking generational curses… Faithful, working hard providing an amazing lifestyle for his wife, a home, travel, car (Porsche), let’s just say everything but the dog because I didn’t want one. We had Fish lol.
Thank God for The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
This book opened our eyes and hearts to understanding the disconnection, outlining the five ways to express and experience love through the “Love Languages”.
Chapman describes those five love languages as:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
Just like we communicate in our literal language, we have a tendency to communicate in our personal love language. You see we weren’t speaking the same love language. I was speaking Quality Time and my husband was speaking Acts of Service, serving and taking care of me.
If any of your relationships (spouse, child, parent, friend) are challenged, there may not be anything wrong other than the differences in your ways of communicating and expressing love. You might just be speaking a love language that they don’t fully understand, and they’re speaking a love language that you need to learn. Learn how to speak each other’s love languages, being loved in the way that you understand and appreciate is important. This eliminates tension, confusion and missed communication, giving the opportunity to experience the true expression of Love.
The chart provided below offers examples and recommendations for each love language.
Note: this post is not endorsed by or affiliated with Dr. Gary Chapman or the 5 Love Languages book in any way, although I do recommend you add this book to your personal library.
