How to (re)Discover (Find) the Real You Again

You closed your eyes for a brief period, counting to 100 (1, 2, 3. 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10). Ready or not, here I come!!! Now your eyes open, oh snap where am I? Who the heck am I? It has been 10 years and I cannot find or recognize myself, have I blended in, or have I vanished entirely? On the surface, it seems odd that you could actually be anything other than who you are.  But from the time we can talk, we are being programmed to “fit in.”  We find ourselves conforming to please the people we love, and who love us.

But sometimes that means that you must suppress what you know is the real person inside. Over time this leads to a total disconnect and often you become unrecognizable to yourself.

And yet, your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have.  Without a healthy relationship with yourself, it’s practically impossible to have healthy and authentic relationships with anyone else. 

If you’re ready to be found and get reacquainted with someone you haven’t seen in a while – The ” Gift” Called You (yourself) – start with these 4 ideas to help you rediscover the real you. 

 1.     Quiet the noise in your head

You know those voices well, the ones that are constantly nagging you I’m not doing enough, I don’t have enough time to get it all done, to put up the laundry, spend more time with aging parents, what will we have for dinner, talk to the school teacher, juggle the bills, schedule the vet, keep the boss happy.  With all that noise going on, it will be impossible for you to hear anything above the din. This MUST be the first step.  How do you do that? By setting up systems, simplifying, and establishing enough extras in your life to allow you to operate from a position of abundance, instead of lacking.

 2.     Practice thinking about yourself in healthy ways

To do that, you must first believe that you are valuable and that your Real Self has something to offer the world. Since you talk to yourself more than everyone else in your life combined, that is a lot of talking!!!  It is up to YOU to establish healthy communication in your thinking. Consciously listen to how you talk to yourself; write down the unhealthy things you say, challenge them, and replace them with facts. Self-Talk: “You never do anything right.”  Challenge: “Of course, I do things right. I did (example) right. I did (example) right. This time, I just made a mistake. I will learn from it and have better success next time.” 

 3.     Listen to your heart

Sounds easy enough, but by the time we are adults, most of us have stopped listening to our hearts and go only with our heads.  Those two must reconnect to find your real self.  It is easy to become accustomed to thinking about your feelings instead of feeling them.  Did you catch that? You must not only think but feel as well!!! Instead of asking yourself what you think about something, ask how you feel about it and why it is important to you.

4.     Be careful not to get hung up on a specific goal

What you are really after is a feeling — respect, love, appreciation – as opposed to the company car, or a great guy/girl. Keep an open mind to the feelings and be willing to adjust the methods you use to achieve them. Determine not just your goals, but how it satisfies who you really are. The mask will come off and you will rediscover your real self, which will come shining through.

A person you can know and love – The Gift Called You!!! – is waiting for you to take the time to listen and understand and accept. When you accept your Real Self again, you will make smarter choices, and those choices will stick because they actually fit who you are.  Now, that is what you are really looking for, isn’t it?