When, where, and how did I lose myself? Where am I? How did I get here?
On the Journey of discovering or rediscovering yourself, I recommend Journaling. We need to know who we are and who’s we are, to live a life with intention, purpose, and wholeness. Writing down our thoughts and feelings helps to understand and process them more clearly. In stressful times and anxiety, it has helped me gain control of emotions and improved my mood and overall health. Not to speak of the revelations, confirmations, and healing that you experience months and even years later when you revisit your journal entries.
An excerpt for my personal journal entry from Feb. 2005.
A Journey Into the Journal
Wow, It’s February 2005 where did the time go? I feel lost and misplaced. Have I wasted an entire four months? How do I get rid of this void and emptiness? Where am I? Why do I feel so rejected and hurt? Is this my wilderness?
I have been sick with the Flu. I believe I have slept more over the past months, than my entire life 🙂 or :-(. Pastor state’s this is a time of rest for me. I have started to explore Coaching. What’s new for me this season is my stillness. In the past, I would be employed by now. But I am not seeking employment or a career. I desire freedom and wholeness.
In the e-book Exploring Coaching, it asked have you reached your Rubicon? What is Rubicon? Rubicon is a boundary, that when crossed commits a person irrevocably. The decision is swift, clearly defined action. Rubicon is a point of no return.
Today Pastor Sermon was titled Civil War. Joshua 5… Oh my, this place that I am in is called Gilgal. The war is against myself, I’m battling myself it’s called internal warfare. What should be taking place here? I can not be released from here until I set up a monument to reflect on God’s miraculous Blessings. This is a place where my healing will take place. Disgrace and embarrassment, hurt for bing enslaved will be taking away. A place of preparation to let Jesus give the orders in my life, for Him to decide my most important goals. A place to let go of self. obey and trust. A place to reach my Rubicon.
Thanks for the insight I feel like I am in this place right now.
Thank you so much for your insight, honesty, & inspiration. I sat and read your blog with a friend who also too, felt this was so appropriate and helped her gain some perspective. It helped us both.
Thank you for these beautiful words Christal! Thank you for the reminder to journal. I feel like I just came out of that lonely dark place. The sadness and emptiness was indescribable. The Lord has refreshed me in brand new ways! So journaling is next for me! Bless you!
Beautiful blog and right on point! I need to start journaling so I can feel good about my transformation and evolution through time. I always make the excuse about not having the time but what better way to be “crystal clear” on your goals, dreams, ambitions and feelings in the NOW. Thank you for sharing this!